How Do You Show Up?
One of my favorite questions to ask clients is how do you want to show up? The response varies depending on the perspective from which they are answering the question. Sometimes the question is answered as people leader or team member within an organization, other times it may be answered from a personal place, as a spouse, partner, or friend. And there are times the question is answered from a place of internal discovery and just wanting to understand who am I and how do I want to be? But what does showing up mean? First, it means being there – being present physically and mentally. After you are physically and mentally there, how do you make other’s feel in your presence? Are you actively listening, contributing, or energizing others? Are you curious, thoughtful, kind, or supportive? So much of showing up involves the behaviors we display and the impact our behavior has on others.
We often put quite a bit of thought and energy into how we want to portray ourselves at work, as a people leader, or as a team member. We want to be viewed as professional, knowledgeable, or dependable. And, while it is important to show up in our jobs and careers, we also need to show up for ourselves. Being self-aware and intentional about what you need and how to provide this for yourself is crucial. You need to know how to show up for yourself before you can fully show up for others.
Where does showing up for yourself begin? With knowing who you are – and what you need. It involves knowing your strengths and what comes naturally to you and knowing your limitations. It also requires being brutally honest with yourself about what makes you happy, angry or stressed and identifying the healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with circumstances outside of your control. Showing up for yourself can sometimes involve just being patient and kind to yourself – just recognizing you are perfectly human and flawed – and cannot do everything at a level of excellence. This self-awareness is such a gift because it allows you to understand what you do well – and focus on making your strength areas even stronger. Not only will focusing on your strengths allow you to use your natural gifts, but it will also bring you sense of peace and self-love. You will be able to answer the question – “How do I want to show up?” Because, you will know who you are and what showing up for you looks like.
Showing up requires preparation, discipline, and being intentional. Intentional about your behavior, communication, and the ability to manage your emotions. It means showing up sometimes, even when you don’t want to – or don’t feel like it. It means being supportive and respective to others. It requires effort – and shifting your mindset at times. Showing up is not always easy – if it was, everyone would show up positive, passionate, energetic – and prepared. Showing up requires a sacrifice at times. It is a constant process of putting in the time and energy to become a better person, co-worker, partner, and leader. The work towards becoming a better person never stops. Most of us, as we learn more want to do better, become better and show up even better.
As you think about how you want to show up, the following are questions to ask yourself:
What do you need to show up?
How can you allow the positive and authentic version of you to show up?
What prevents you from showing up this way?
What are you willing to commit to in order to show up?